i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
