everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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