Yo dont text me then not text me
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
