whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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