You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize