we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
