Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
