I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
