I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
