The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
