Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
