bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The air was thick with penises
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
