i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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