I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
