What a fucking waste of an outfit
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
