I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
