i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I wanna passion pit in your ass
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Be still, my beating vagina.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize
