Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
