Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(604): View more from British Columbia

My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.

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(480): View more from Arizona

she looked like the bat from fern gully.

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(765): View more from Indiana

There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.

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(248): View more from Michigan

If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.

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(904): View more from Florida

After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.

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(319): View more from Iowa

i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself

(612): View more from Minnesota

It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...

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(530): View more from California

My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"

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(310): View more from California

Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.

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(503): View more from Oregon

You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else

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