Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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