Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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