I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
