The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
