i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
