they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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