Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
