Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
My feet surprised me
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
