I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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