i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
