i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
