why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Can I color on your dick again?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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