Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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