Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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