it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
