We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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