you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize
