found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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