She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
