It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
