im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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