I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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