i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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