come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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