I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
