belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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