Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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