you guys were way drunker than both of me
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
In America we eat man semen.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize