FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
