what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
