I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
