no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
