ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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