i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
