she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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