I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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