im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
