btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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