3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You are a genius and a whore.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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