Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize