Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
