I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
