I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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