accomplished twins. life is a go
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
