I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
