i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Boobs speak an international language.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
