I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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